Sure, one million pounds could to it—that’s a lot of loot—maybe if it had been offered twenty or thirty years ago. It’s too late now. About all it will do is buy more nails to pound into John Bull’s coffin. The Chicago Cubs have a better chance of winning the 2007 World Series than England has of surviving the 21st Century. But that doesn’t keep Tony Blair from trying. Blair addressed a conference of moderate Muslims in London last week in another last-ditch effort to save Merry Olde England from a fate worse than death. He pledged to spend one million pounds to improve the teaching of Islamic studies in Britain’s universities.

Winston Churchill said he would fight the enemy on the beaches and in the fields and in the streets—he would never give up. Blair is fighting England’s enemies in the universities. It’s a tougher job than Churchill had. There were more moderate Nazis in Germany in the l930s than there are moderate Muslims in 21st Century England. And where did Blair find an entire conference of them? The moderate Muslims is a rare breed—almost as rare as a unicorn. You want satyrs? Try Piccadilly Circus. Big Foot left tracks. They have pictures of the Loch Ness Monster. But a moderate Muslim—try to find one. Dinesh D’Souza claims he saw one on the way to a debate with Robert Spencer.

Blair did something Churchill would never have done. Chalk it up to forty years of mindless multiculturalism. “The voices of extremism,” he told the conference, “are no more representative of Islam than the use in times gone by of torture to force conversions to Christianity represented the teachings of Christians.” He didn’t get that from Seinfeld. What does the Qur’an say?

Qur’an 5:4 “This day those who reject faith give up all hope of your religion. Yet fear them not, fear Me. This day I have perfected your religion and have chosen for you Submission as your religion.”

Qur’an 87:10 “He who fears will mind.”

Qur’an 2:104 “To those who don’t submit there is a grievous punishment.”

How grievous? Christian church burned by Muslims in Bandung, Indonesia, June 4. 2007! Chaldean Catholic priest and three deacons shot dead in front of the Holy Spirit Church in Mosul, Iraq, June 4, 2007! Pakistani Christians who had refused to convert to Islam in Charsadda, Pakistan, were told to leave the city or suffer the consequences, June 1. 2007! These are not isolated incidents—they are frequent and continuous throughout the world where Islam is in close contact with other religions.

The Islamic Foundation of England’s latest report concentrated on the teaching of Islam in British universities. “The study of Islam and its civilization,” the report concluded, “remains anchored in the colonial legacy and mainly served the diplomatic and foreign services.” Oh, that bloody Rudyard Kipling, it’s his fault!

Blair is a generation late and a trillions pounds short. One of every four Muslims residing in England believes the British government was responsible for the London bombings and just as many approve of suicide bombings to achieve religious ends. A half-century of political correctness and run-amok multiculturalism has destroyed England. There will be no Alamo, no Rorke’s Drift, only an abject and miserable surrender. The next King of England will be a Muslim. Henry of Navarre said a Kingdom was worth a Mass. He said his mass, got his Kingdom and then did damned well what he pleased. Times have changed. Prince Charles is no Henry of Navarre. He already has one foot in Mecca and is no more reliable than George Costanza. He visited Pakistan, was overjoyed by what he saw; praised the Mad-Rats-Asses schools. He said England was fortunate to have so many immigrants from Pakistan—the country where most of the London bombers came from and where the rest were trained.

Prince Chuckles is not alone. A half-century of Socialism would take the fight out of John L. Sullivan. Time Out London, an Internet entertainment magazine, has been rhapsodic in its praise of Islam. London’s future is Islamic, it says—and it’s a good thing. Time Out buttressed its argument with some interesting, if strange, observations. 1.The washing of hands and feet required before prayer promotes public hygiene. 2.Alcohol is haram—forbidden. Get rid of John Barleycorn and alcohol-related deaths and crimes would decline—indeed, become rare. 3 Some of the finest art in London is already Islamic. 4.By paying the Muslim zakat, a 2.5 percent welfare tax, poverty would end. London would be more just and less cruel. 5. Under Islam all ethnicities are equal. (Of course, Time Out was kidding—weren’t they?)

In order:

1. Psychiatrists have a word for the constant washing of hands (and feet). They call it obsessive-compulsive behavior. It is a mental disorder. It would be better to wash one’s hands after visiting the loo than before prayer—more hygienic.

2. Banning alcohol will not stop ‘honor killings’ and it will not stop suicide bombings until the last Jew is dead and maybe not even then. And what would Rooster Cogburn do if bitten by a snake?

3. Muslim doctrine is opposed to the artistic reproduction of the human body. There would be no Mona Lisa, no Whistler’s Mother…no Bamiyan Buddhas. And Music? It doesn’t matter whether it’s Snoop Doggy Do-Do or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, nobody will be playing the zither in a mosque.

4. The zakat is spent exclusively on Muslims. No Hindus, no animists need apply. There was less cruelty per square inch on Jeff Davis’s plantation than there would be an Islamic London.

5. Time Out London concluded: Under Islam all ethnicities are equal. Once you have submitted to Allah you are a Muslim—it doesn’t matter what colour you are. End of story. (End of story? Isn’t that the way Archie Bunker ended arguments he couldn’t win?)

Andy Capp faces a bleak future. There is no Plan B. One by one the windows of opportunity have been closed. The alternative to surrender is war—not conventional war but a counter insurgency. He will have to do to the Islamists and their supporters what they have been doing to Andy and his friends. He will have to beat them at their own game; he will have to become his own version of the IRA; he will have to take the law into his own hands. Freedom must be defended constantly to the point of the sword to be maintained. Blair will not do; Parliament is paralyzed by fear; the liberal media is in bed with the enemy. The war is creating more bad Muslims than it is killing; if the trend is not reversed and soon, the Andy Capps and John Bulls will lose everything. Muslims who believe in democracy and want freedom will not support Englishmen who will not fight for it. The Sunshine Patriot and Summer Soldier are next to worthless in the current emergency and the enemies of freedom—George Galloway, Red Ken Livingstone and their ilk—must go. Call it negative extension. It will be for a good cause. One Andy Capp is worth ten thousand Tariq Ramadans; just the idea of Winston Churchill is worth ten million Omar Bakri Mohammads.

In his book, Beyond Terror, Ralph Peters aptly described the Islamic dilemma. “The stasis of Islamic civilization,” said Peters, “is the most colossal failure of our time, a situation without precedent even in the early days of European imperialism. A billion people, as proud as they are ill-governed and ill-prepared for modern life, have found they cannot compete with other civilizations on a single front—not even in terror, for the West will, out of demonstrated need, learn to terrorize the terrorists. (Democracies, while poor at preemption, are very good at retribution).”

It may be, but time is running out for Andy Capp.