My Proud Departure from Islam..
07 June, 2007
- I'm not going to give details of my personal life (my original country.. family history, and so on), but suffice it to say, I come originally from a Muslim country where you'd least expect to meet an ex-Muslim. Also, I am an Arab, still haven't passed the age of 20, and I am here to share my story. I apologise in advance for my poor English.
- Detailing my experiences as I know them from the vantage point of 19 years spent as a Muslim is by no means an easy task. Coming from a religious Muslim background, I was taught to believe that the Koran was inerrant, that Muhammad's words were to be respected, and that any form of defiance or criticism will be met with severe repercussions. I was, thus, forced into Islam against my will, so to speak, and I was forced to grow up with it and stick to it and never even dare question it.
But for the longest time I've been secretly questioning my "beliefs", the beliefs that I grew up with and constituted who I was; the set of beliefs that was a great part of my identity. I remember being taught to hate (not directly so, of course) by instilling fear against "those evil Jews" and luring you into Jihad by promising the 72 Huur Al-Ayn. Of course, I was never drawn into that, because I'm actually gay.
The fact of the matter is that, regardless of how numerous we, as ex-Muslims, are, it's still hard to communicate and share this experience. It was a lonely period after my departure from Islam. I went through depression, sadness and torment and solitude. To be out of touch with the reality and way of life around you is truly an isolating feeling. Even in calling out, finally, for help, I suddenly felt as though I was shouting into the wind.
It was just so hard to believe in a religion that forbids pre-marital sex yet explains how you should have sex in more details than Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City. Further, it was also difficult to believe in a "peaceful" religion that was more bashful and racist than an Ann Coulter on her monthly period. Lastly, it was hard to believe in a religion that forbids happiness, subjugates women and treats Jews and Christians like 1000th class citizens.
The more I saw the "Imams" screaming and yelling and crying and whining over our "poor conditions" and using that to justify hatred and hostility towards the west, the more I am convinced that leaving Islam would be a right choice, because no religion could teach someone to be this hateful. Yes, there are hateful individuals in Christianity too, but they're so insignificant they're often dismissed, and more over, they do not lead prayers in prominent and well-known mosques, or have any religious or moral authority like these imams do.
So there I was, not so long ago I gave up this set of beliefs, and I've never felt happier. I feel free, ecstatic and joyful. I am so thankful for people like Wafa Sultan, who showed me the light of a religion I blindly followed. I am an ex-Muslim now, an agnostic and probably on my way to atheism and secular humanism. I left this evil part of my past behind, and it will never make a come back. Ever.
I am an ex-Muslim and I am so damn proud of it.