Part I

“Hubba-hubba! ……Oh babe! You’re hot!…… Wheweee…wheweeee…!” Mohammad whistles like a spoiled teen-ager. He tries to peep through the curtain one more time, then starts humming -  “Baggy Baggy heart…..Baggy Baggy heart! !”  [1] The desert sun is burning, so is Mohammad’s desire. He has a reason for the excitement.

Mohammed went to his adopted son Zaid’s home to discuss a great robbery scheme that he planned. Zaid b Mohammed just left for unemployment office and his wife Zainab was home alone. The blazing heat of the desert was unbearable and Zainab had barely any clothes on, giving her beautiful body a little air.  Mohammad knew Zainab very well because they were cousins but he never saw her in a birthday suit. The gorgeous curve of her body looked like an hourglass and it was enough for Mohammed to turn him on.

Zaid came from a Christian tribe of Bani Kalb from South Syria and he was known as Zaid b. Harith. During a tribal fight, he was captured by the rival group and sold into slavery. Khadija, the first wife and the boss of Mohammed bought this slave but presented to her husband as a gift. Mohammad did not have lieutenants in those days, so he freed Zaid from slavery and tried to gain trust of this young man. Meanwhile, Zaid’s real father and an uncle were looking for Zaid all over the Arabia . Finally, they trailed Zaid and begged Mohammad to release him. Mohammad did not want to loose a future general of his army. He adopted Zaid as his son and changed his name from Zaid  b. Harith to Zaid b. Muhammad.. Muhammad sworn in front of the black stone of the Ka'aba keeping the father and the uncle of Zaid as witnesses -: "Bear testimony, all ye that are present. Zaid is my son; I will be his heir and he shall be mine." (W. Muir, The Life of Muhammad, ed. T.H. Wair, p. 35). Apparently, Allah did not pay attention to Mohammad’s misdemeanors and raise no objection whatsoever.    Mohammad introduced Islam as a non-profit organization but he was not doing very well. His wife Khadija was an old lady compared to young and handsome Mohammad. It was a matter of mutual benefit, Mohammad enjoyed the wealth of Khadija and she was proud to have a young husband. Naturally, Khadija became the first victim of Islam but rest of the community rejected the ridiculousness of the new religion. Many historians believe Zaid was one of the first to become the prey of Islam. Mohammad did his best to satisfy Zaid and convinced him to join Islam.  

When Zaid became a gang member of Islam, Mohammad decided to reward him with an attractive woman. He wanted his beautiful cousin Zainab to marry Zaid but why should she marry an ex-slave? She inquired if she has been asked or ordered by the prophet to marry Zaid. Overconfident Mohammed said, “I am asking you.” - Zainab flatly refused the proposal. Mohammad’s problem is Allah’s problem. It did not take long for Allah to send a message (33.36) and force Zainab to marry Zaid.    

Soon Mohammad realized that no one would listen to him if he plays Mr. Nice guy. He started raiding commercial caravans and used the robbed money to build an army. Slowly Mohammad became a powerful king and he did not have to please Zaid anymore. When Khadija was alive, Mohammad could not make any girlfriend because he was depended on Khadija’s money. As soon as Khadija passed away, Mohammad decided to enjoy his life. When Mohammad fell in love with Zainab, Zaid was fully under his control. He was hypnotized by Mohammad’s glamour like a fly caught in a spider’s web.  

Interestingly, Mohammad had another adopted son Salim, [2] who also happened to be a freed slave and married the ‘pro-fat’s niece Hind bint Al-Wahd bin 'Utba. Most likely, Hint b ‘Utba was not as beautiful as Zainab and Mohammad, being a ‘peeping Tom’, never got a chance to see her naked. Hence, the special project of demolishing the adoption system was targeted to Zainab instead of Salim’s wife.  

In order to marry adopted son Zaid’s wife, Mohammad faced two crucial problems. First, the idea of marrying a daughter-in-law caused hue and cry in the society. Second, He already had four wives and making Zainab will make her the fifth wife, it will go against a Quranic teaching that permits a Muslim to own only four wives.  

Mohammad took a few puffs of Marijuana, pretended to do meditation and tossed a series of verses to solve all problems. Verse 33.37 was summoned allowing Mohammad to marry his adopted son’s wife, verse 33.40 ensured Mohammad cannot be an adopted son’s father and verse 33.50 came down to make an exception for Mohammad to stockpile more than four wives.  

Therefore, Islam prohibited the most dangerous (!), inhuman (?) and barbaric (!) practice of adoption.

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Part II

The blue moon is shining over the scattered ranges of barren hills and desert sands are glittering, as if a giant silver plate. Mohammad waives his magic wand and breaks the silence of the desert – “Abraca – Dabraca –dee!!! Yooou! Moon! Split in half!” [3]  

Scared moon divides in two pieces and unites again.  

The story of splitting the moon has been recorded in several places of Ahadith and Allah confirmed this miracle in verse 54.01. The joke may entertain a sane person but the followers of Mohammad not only believe the unbelievable, they also brag about the story and take great pride describing the farce.  

In the intervening time, Potters of Sui Dynasty of China (600-650 AD) became skilled at sculpture. They made statues of Buddha and camels of Arabia but no broken Moon. The Anglo-Saxon kings of 7^th century were busy killing each other but no one noticed any change of the moon. The Mayans of Middle America reached at the highest peak of civilization during the 7^th century. A handful of cactus fiber parchment and numerous stone carvings revealed that they had a profound knowledge of the sky. Their astronomical observations included an accurate solar calendar, prediction of eclipses and the concept of earth, moon and other planets being bound to the sun. However, there is no indication of wrecked moon. Briefly, the whole world was unaware of the special phenomenon of Mohammad and Allah cutting the moon.  

The intention of this short story is not to refute the miracles of Mohammad rather to establish the fact that Muslims, regardless their stance on understanding of Islam, do believe in miracles that were performed by Mohammad. There are many Ahadith that claim Mohammad’s capability of performing magic - his fingers were spraying water like a water fountain, stones greeted the ‘profit’ of Islam, walking trees and many more. Those who believe in Ahadith have no problem in believing these magic, however, Quran-only Muslims are allergic to Ahadith because of it’s silliness, even these group of people cannot deny the miracles mentioned in the Quran.

Part III

Mohammad was seating on a rock, exhausted and one of his legs is shackled to a tree. He already has been whipped twice today. It’s been a week since he was defeated in a battle. Mohammad and all of his companions were taken as slaves and forced to work all day, moving rocks for their master to build a new house.  

In the afternoon, all in a sudden, the clear blue-sky turns into black, gusty wind and thunder shake the area. The people of Arabia are horrified, fearing a backlash from Mohammad’s God. Indeed, Allah was furious. Within no time, a shimmering blue light besieges Mohammad and his followers.  Their shackles melt, making them free but causes no harm to the slaves. Another thunder, and a tall, sky-high angel yells – “Verily, slavery is sin. I am with you. So make those who believe stands firm.  I will be branding the hearts of slave owners with tattoo, break each and every bone and put nail polish on their fingertips.” (verse,19:1919)  

Evidently, this melodrama did not happen. In contrary, Islam promotes slavery and Quran spontaneously endorses the same. Verse 33.50 made wives and slaves lawful to believers, it also blows its own horn – Allah takes credit for giving slave girls to the believers as booty. Verse 23.5-6 allows Muslims to show their private parts to their wives and slave girls. Additionally, there are hundreds of Ahadith that give consent to slavery.  

Descent Muslims, who are ashamed of the fact, argue that Islam had a plan to gradually abolish slavery because some of the verses and Ahadith do talk about freeing slaves. However, the conditions of freeing slaves are very interesting. In verse 4.92, Quran asks Muslims to free a Muslim slave if they kill another Muslim by mistake, of course killing a non-Muslim does not count. It’s clearly not an act of benevolence but a type of punishment to stop committing the mistake of killing Muslims. In a car accident case, if the judge orders a person to abandon the car because he was at fault; the owner of the car is not making a donation rather he is suffering a monetary loss.  

In Ahadith, Mohammad urged Muslims to free slaves occasionally but he definitely mentioned about Muslim slaves [4]. Freed Muslim slaves joined his army, a unique recruiting strategy indeed. Mohammad freed Zaid, his slave and adopted son only to make him a loyal follower, he continued the same trend, beneficial to his interest.  

On one occasion,  [5] a follower of Mohammad freed a slave and informed him of the generous deed. Mohammad frowned and suggested she could have gained more heavenly rewards if she had given her to one of her maternal uncles. Another incident [6] – an Ansar declared his slave be freed after his death. Mohammad overruled his wish and captured those slaves only to sell them for eight hundred dirhams. They were Coptic slaves; obviously he did not care to honor the wish of a deceased person. So, Mohammad, who suffered from ‘Michael Jackson syndrome’, was also a slave trader.  

Does Mohammad look like a savior or a terminator?
 

Islamic morale

There is no preset yardstick to measure the standard of morality. It has varied from era to era, culture to culture and person to person. Nonetheless, as the civilization has advanced and people realized the value of mankind, the definition of morality became more sophisticated - leaning towards the betterment of humanity. The contemporary idea of “Right and Wrong”, “Good and Bad” is solely based on human welfare, upon which the dwelling of morality is built.  

Is adoption worst than slavery? Undoubtedly it’s a senseless and ridiculous question. Adoption is a noble venture whereas slavery is bestial. Those who adopt orphans should be respected and commended for their actions. In today’ s world, slavery is a crime; the refined definition of morality that stopped slavery is based on humanitarian position and mostly overruling the religious beliefs. The ugliness of slavery is so severe that people of today are ashamed of their forefathers.  

Allah staged a nice theatre where Mohammad played the main role to abolish adoption, showed miracles to convince the audience but they did not want to write another drama and put an end to slavery. Is that how Islamic morale works? 

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