Articles, Comments

Who Let the Dogs Out?

by Sher Khan

26/06/05

In a remote village of the Indian Subcontinent, lived a wise man who was well versed in science, politics and history. Above all he knew English very well. In many countries, knowing English is a sign of intelligence, proof that one is a knowledgeable person. The neighboring village also had a self-proclaimed wise man but who instead was not knowledgeable at all.

One day, the fake wise man challenged the real wise man to participate in a "Translation from English to native language" competition. The real wise man was reluctant to engage in such silliness, but nonetheless agreed after local well-wishers begged him to defend the honor of their village.

Soon, both competitors met in a common area where hundreds of people from both villages had anxiously gathered. The real wise man politely took his seat while the fake wise man entered with a band of musicians equipped with trumpet, kettle drums, bugles and what not.

The competition started after sunset. The real wise man had the privilege of asking the first question. "What" - he asked, "is the meaning of 'The sun sets in murky water?'" The fake sage loudly answered in his native language.

Then, it was the fake wise man's turn. "Could you translate - he simply asked - "the meaning of 'I don't know?'" The real wise man innocently translated the meaning in his native language without blinking an eye.

None of the villagers was educated or could understand a word of English, but a second later, trumpets blared and drums thundered, and there was a great hullabaloo, whereupon the fake wise man declared himself the winner, grabbed the trophy and bolted away from the audience.

Not until the next day was the deception understood and did the fake wise man get a good thrashing from the people of both villages.

***

I read this story somewhere a long time ago. I don't recall where or when exactly, but I do see an astonishingly precise parallel between that fake wise man and the Muslim apologists of today who often claim victory in Islamic debates. Most in fact, have this uncanny ability to declare victory before any real debate begins or any real case, either way, is presented.

One Muslim might argue: "You're only jealous because Muslims have the courage to fight and die for what they believe in!"  Well, a turkey is a type of bird that looks like an oversized chicken. According to reliable farm sources, it's not safe to give a bowl of water to the gobblers because they're liable to dip their heads in and die of suffocation. In other words, they lack the intelligence or instinct to pop their heads up in time. I wonder, isn't such stupidity similar to that of the suicide bombers? Well, it really doesn't matter how these (suicide bomber) turkeys want to die, the problem arises when they take others who are unwilling to die with them.

Another Muslim claims: "You have intentionally mistranslated and misrepresented many Hadith and Quranic verses". How can that be when everyone uses the same translations - by Yusuf Ali, Pikhtal, Shakir, Muhsin Khan or even Rashad Khalafa? All the above scholars played the same music with minimum variation. Those translators should face the charges of mistranslation and not us. If the Quran howls - "kill," we understand that the Quran is no good because killing is bad. How does mistranslation or misrepresentation fit into the picture?

Some Muslims allege that their faith only gets bolstered when we critique Islam. This is utterly baffling to me, how can someone's faith become stronger when it is proven through their own sacred texts that they are following a criminal? How can that increase pride instead of causing shame?

Some claim that they are non-practicing Muslims. This can be a truthful statement and deserves appreciation. They're scared to follow the real Islam and categorically deny any involvement with its brutal teachings. The majority of Muslims are of this group and they are the ones who need to be pulled out of the Islamic swamp. 

Dr. Jackal NIKE of India is a famous Islamist who's made a name for himself by peddling Islamic trash and yakking as guest scholar in a great many lecture halls around the world. The man, fortunately unrelated to NIKE, the footwear giant of the USA, is indeed a shrewd jackal that I must admit. There he is afraid of debating with ex-Muslims on the Internet, but nonetheless celebrated by countless fans trumpeting his victories! It takes genius to transform defeat by forfeit into victory by fanfare!

He runs a website where a great many questions are answered in childish manner. For example, regarding "Polygamy in Islam", he replies: "Islam is the only religion that advocates one marriage with an option to marry up to four!" But then a few paragraphs later he lovingly dwells on the joys of multiple wives. He mentions both verses 3 and 129 of the An-nisa Surah, but only partially, conveniently forgetting that in addition to four wives, Muslims are allowed the kinky delights of "right hand possessions" that is - of captive slave women! And then, of course, he doesn't dare bother to elaborate verse 129, where Allah asks the believers not to fret too much about being fair to his wives.

While explaining the bad effects of eating pork, Dr. Jackal concludes: "those who eat pigs will come to behave like pigs". One wonders why that doesn't apply to cows, goats and more specifically to the great Islamic favorite, sheep! Wait a minute. I have it! Could it be that Dr. Jackal refuses to debate with ex-Muslims because he is inordinately fond of chicken?

Dr. Jackal has an answer for all questions but unfortunately none rises to the level of common sense. Asked, "Why are non-Muslims barred from entering the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah?" - his delightful answer,  reminiscent of the second wise man of our story, is:, "The Visa - The primary condition required for any human being to enter Makkah or Madina is to say with his lips, "La ila ha illallah Muhammed ur Rasulullah" meaning that there is no God but Allah and Muhammed (pbuh) is His Messenger." Was he by vague chance, explaining that non-Muslims cannot enter those unholy cities because they are non-Muslims? Wait... but wasn't that the original question?

In answering another query, the good Doctor uses an early verse of the Quran that Mohammad had plucked from the sky in order to save his endangered butt in a period when he was dangerously low on mercenaries willing to fight for him. Dr. Jackal gleefully quotes the verse, "Let there be no compulsion in religion". Now we see the famous Doctor Jackal becoming an angel of love, preaching tolerance Mohammad style: be weak with the strong and strong with the weak. What a farce! Noble Quran indeed!

Then he applies his great scholarship to list the shortcomings of other religions in order to justify Islamic insanity. How else to describe this blatant logical fallacy other than as a sort magical Islamic elixir that keeps Muslims forever young? Only kids find justification for their bad deeds in the bad deeds of others. We are in trouble if doctors or dentists started thinking that way!

Meanwhile, many real Muslims are on a mission to capture the world through violence. Generally speaking, five types of dogs are extremely dangerous:   Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, German Shepherds, Huskies and Alaskan Malamutes are sadly famous for attacking adults and even children. Islamic Jihadists, a blend of these five breeds, are killing innocent citizens all over the world. Experts believe that a mere three seconds after biting, dogs no longer understand what they've done. Likewise, the Jihadi killing machines of Islam are unable to fully comprehend the impact of their inhuman behavior after killing a non-Muslim. All they know is: "Follow the Quran and kill non-Muslims."

So, "Who let the dogs out?"

The Muslim apologists did, that's who, the vocalists of the famous propaganda slogan: "Islam is the religion of peace". They never confront those mad dogs, nor do they ever try to get them on a leash. It's a matter of mutual understanding. The Muslim apologists scream for peace in daylight, but go to bed with the Jihadists at night. People like Dr. NIKE use anesthesia on non-Muslims so that the Jihadists can eventually slit their throats. The apologists kill two birds with one stone. Their illusive brand of Islam keeps both non-Muslims and non-practicing Muslims in dark.

Hating people of other faith is the fundamental teaching of Islam. A simple analogy will suffice - if the constitution of a country demands its citizen to kill horses, everyone is at liberty to shoot any horse on sight. There might be animal rights groups and humane societies to condemn such acts but nothing will change the people's mind. The Quran is the constitution of Islam and Muslims are obliged to follow each word of this book of horrors. If an apologist were really high-minded and honest all he could do is try to change the Quran.

Islam cannot be reformed without changing the Quran. Given that the Quran cannot be changed, Islam cannot be reformed. The only option is to get rid of Islam, just like modern civilization rejected slavery and cannibalism. 

Fear, rigidity and obsession, a lethal combination of all three, leads Muslims to cling to Islam. Without those fake wise men of Islam, non-practicing Muslims would have left the cult ages ago and rest of the world would know the real face of the Jihadi dogs.