Islam Under Scrutiny by Ex-Muslims

Pious Muslima Turns Apostate, Thanks to Ali Sina

 

Dear Dr. Sina,

I am very much grateful for all of your efforts to establish and maintain FFI. Without it, my eyes would have never been opened and I could never have seen the true face of Islam.

I was born Muslimah. Now in my early forties, I am a mother of two wonderful boys.

I am living in a Muslim country. 99.9% of my countrymen do not understand Arabic. They blindly follow what the mullahs tell them. With the exception of a few, almost everyone here is “moderate” Muslim.

For sure, I was one of those who took to heart every word of the mullahs. I was a member of numerous majlas. Almost everyday, I attended a majlis where a mullah taught us what the Quran (did not) says. After he finished speaking, there was a Q&A session and I used to ask him many questions. Sometimes I was satisfied with the answers, but sometimes I wasn’t.

When I first came to your website I was totally shocked. Rather than stop reading your articles, I was more curious.

While I continued reading, I discussed with my husband and my Muslim friends, and ask questions from some gurus. With my husband, of course, it was a frankly and straight discussions while with my friends and mullahs I had to ask my questions in a disguised way. However, this did not prevent one of my friends to question whether I am still a Muslimah. After that I stopped asking her more questions

Maybe I am an apostate now because I stop my 5 times praying and plan not to fast this year.

I regret the huge amount of money we spent for our Hajj and Omra. It would have been better if I had taken my boys to Disneyland or Europe.

Muhammad needed Islam as a tool to improve his own life. If he could see Muslims today from his grave, he would probably laugh hysterically for taking his lies so seriously.

The bloody fights and struggle for power between Muhammad’s closest companions, which happened right after his death, proves that Islam is false.

If Islam is a religion of peace, why its history is not peaceful? Its founder used the sword instead of language and so did his companions. He also taught his follower to conquer, subdue and dominate and use violence and cruelty to do so.

My husband is a very kind man, both to his own family as well as to others. He is well educated. He is a ‘devout’ Muslim. Besides the compulsory prayers he performs several other extra/sunnah prayers, everyday. When I showed him the ayah about crucifying and cutting the kafirs’ fingers, I could see the expression of shock in his face. Then I bombarded him with many others ayahs, hadiths and your articles.

He began to deny everything and suddenly became a fierce advocate of Islam and Muhammad.

He is questioning me about life after death, the existence of God, what will I feel when I am in dying state, etc. He also said that there must be a God to make the universe and give it order and harmony.

I answered him (plagiarizing you :p) that we all human are like a group of ants living in a garden. The gardener does not care whether the ants worship him not and will not ask them to worship him. He would not send an ant messenger to warn them and will not burn them if they do not worship him.

My husband’s favourite argument is the Pascal Wager. Honestly, I do not really understand the Pascal Wager. That is why I still worry how if God (not Muhammad’s Allah) exists. I do not want to be burnt eternally in hell. But which God should I believe?

Now my paranoia begins. I worry when I knew that tomorrow is my son’s turn to practice swimming in school. I worry if tomorrow they will do field trip somewhere. Will they come home safely? I even wanted to sit waiting behind the door of my youngest son class. (Un) Fortunately he did not allow me. I am scared to death if something or someone harms them. When I still believed in Allah, I always pray for their safety. I asked Allah to ‘guard’ them as Quran says Allah is the best protector. Then I lived my own life happily waiting for them to come home. Now I know that when I prayed for their safety, no Allah heard me. Those ‘happy’ old days have forever changed.

My husband knows I will never pray again. He believes good or bad luck are from Allah alone. If we did good deeds then Allah will reward us. I am afraid if something bad happen to us he will blame me, because of my neglects to Allah. Let us say, something like our business downturn, our water pipes break, our kid get flu, etc, etc. I will be the only scapegoat for everything that may go wrong. What if he starts believing that apostates are najis. I worry this will badly effect our marriage relationship.

Anyhow, I can and am ready to take all the risks. If this should be, let it be. Of course I will do all efforts to keep my marriage well for the sake of my children. If I have to do ‘kafir taqiyya’ then I will do. I must think a good answer for my hubby why I cancelled my apostasy :).

Like all mothers everywhere, I want the best for my kids. I want my sons to escape Islam. At least let them know the truth about Islam.

They are studying in one of the best private schools in the city. They follow a western curriculum. But still it is an Islamic school.

I encourage them to study English and Science. I searched my book shelves to find the “Science for Kids” sets and put them in front, easy to reach, replacing “Islam for Kids” books. I do not ask them to recite dua before sleeping anymore (their father does). Instead, my bed stories are about the Sun, the Moon, planets, asteroids, how a star formed, water cycle, etc.

I want them to study in the west now. I hope, when the time comes, I will have enough money to send them to study abroad.

I want them to seek the opportunity to work and stay in the west, forever. This is something totally different from what I thought before. I never liked the west. I preferred to visit Muslim countries. Even at that time I used to say to myself, if I have to live in other country, I will come to my home country for Ramadan and Eid, because for me no place in earth beats Ramadan atmosphere better than in my home country.

Now, Ramadan is alien to me.

I do not know whether my intention to send my kids to the west will be approved by my husband if he knows my real reasons.

Btw, I am not a computer savvy person. Can people trace me if I send mail like this? How can I be totally anonymous?

I feel better now because I can talk to someone. It lifted the burden in my chest.

Dr. Sina, thank you for your attention and excellent works.


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Name: welcome to humnaism
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 01:01:53 -0500

Comment

welcome to humnaism Rayhana


Name: jenn
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 01:52:37 -0500

Comment

Full marks to you for freeing yourself from a hateful ideology . Now you have a duty to rescue other muslims who are trapped in this hateful cult


Name: Ibrahim
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 02:04:18 -0500

Comment

welcome back to humanity!


Name: Tony
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 03:31:01 -0500

Comment

such a lovely sensible lady! don't worry about extracting islam from your life; like going to the dentist, sometimes a little pain brings a long-term relief!


Name: Re: jenn
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 03:36:19 -0500

Comment

Now you too have a duty to rescue christians from christian dogma


Name: IF MAN LEAVES ISLAM I CAN GET HIS 72 VIRGINS AS I AM FUNDAMENTALIST JIHADI WAITING TO DO SUICIDE BOMBER JIHAD
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 04:54:55 -0500

Comment

IF MAN LEAVES ISLAM I CAN GET HIS 72 VIRGINS AS I AM FUNDAMENTALIST JIHADI WAITING TO DO SUICIDE BOMBER JIHAD.women who r 2ns class in islam is no use.SO I GET MY 72 VIRGINS + ALL THOSE VIRGINS WHOSE GUYS LEAVE THEM AFTER FOLLOWING ISW AND FFI TO FREEDOM.I GOT MY SICIDE BELT READY TO KILL KAFIRS.ILSMA IS MOST PISSFUL RELIGION,PIG PISS ON ISLAM,KORAN,AND FOLLOWERS.LET ME GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THE PISS SO TRUE FOLLOWERS GET PIG PISS AND PURIFY THEMSELF.


Name: DH
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 08:07:51 -0500

Comment

You can still believe in A god if you feel lost without one. Just remember that if there WAS an omnipotent creator of the universe it could not be the petty, psychotic, paranoid "Allah" who burns people forever for not believing in him.


Name: Re : Jenn
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 08:09:12 -0500

Comment

To the person who said : "Now you too have a duty to rescue christians from christian dogma"....This is a red herring of an arguement. Jesus as well as the apostles following in his immediate footsteps taught to love your enemies. This is not the same as Islam which teaches hatred and revenge for offenses both real and imagined. Countless people calling themselves "Christians" have certainly not lived up to Christian requirements. However, Osama Bin Laden and others of his ilk, in imitation of Muhammad, a very good Muslims.


Name: Charles Martel
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 12:35:45 -0500

Comment

Congratulations on leaving Islam. Given your intuition that God exists, but that He's not Allah, consider Christianity -- the monotheism where you don't have to blow anybody up or kill your daughters or destroy the freedom of others.


Name: Philip Saenz
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 13:09:25 -0500

Comment

Jenn, what do you have against Christian Dogma, i.e., the following? "Thou shalt not steal." "Honor your father and mother." "Thou shalt not kill." "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor." "Thou shalt not commit adultery." "Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's husband or wife." "Feed the hungry." "Cure the sick." "Clothe the naked." "Love your enemy." "Do good to those who persecute you." "Love your neighbor." Jenn, you left Islam because it is hateful. But what's wrong with Christian doctrine, some mentioned above? I think you'd better rethink your new "Jenn" doctrine. Jenn, if you ever need to enter a Christian Hospital, the Christians will take care of you. That, too, is Christian dogma.


Name: Philip Saenz
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 14:23:10 -0500

Comment

Who does more for humanity? I live in the United States of America. How many hospitals, burn centers, clinics, orphanges, homes for the aged have the Muslims and atheists built in my country? ACTUALLY NONE!!! On the other hand, how many of the above mentioned places, to help humanity, have the Christians and Jews built? It is in the thousands. Who loves more? Obviously the Christians and Jews. The way I see it, the other side criticizes Christians and Jews, and do nothing for humanity. P.S. These Christian and Jewish places are for the benefit of all persons, even those who hate Christians and Jews. Like Jesus said: "By their fruits you will know them."


Name: jenn
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 20:55:24 -0500

Comment

To the person who used my name and wrote ' Now you too have a duty to rescue christians from christian dogma' i say this. Does islam teach you to steal another persons name and post comments? I am a proud christian who follow the compassionate teachings of christ. I was once a muslim convert and glad that i saved my self from the evil cult islam. we must do all to save other muslims from islam


Name: dogma athiest
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 21:30:14 -0500

Comment

Rayhana, Do not fear for your boys. You are in a far better position to teach them how to be safe, and to look over them, now that you are not relying on god's will alone. Facing danger in life is largely a matter of probabilities. Limit the chances of harm coming to you, and your boys. Do not fear God's wrath. I believe God is the creative principle of the Universe. People have personified this principle. They have fashioned "God" into an omnipient being with a human personality! Living a good life will get you a lot closer to God than bowing your head five times a day. I have never been religious - but I am now exploring spirituality, the concept of the soul, and the multi-dimensional nature of the Universe. I have found study of Shamanism, the most ancient and primal form of spirituality, to be instructive in this endeavour. Still, I think all religions try to explain something great, and get a lot of it wrong. They are all flawed, but Islam seems to be particularly so. Great job, and good luck.


Name: dogma athiest
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 21:36:00 -0500

Comment

GREAT JOB Ali Sina, and many other contributors to the site. Those working to expose Islam for what it is are doing a great service to humanity. You're on the vangaurd - a missionary of an entirely different sort.


Name: GoodNewsForIslam
Date: Monday February 16, 2009
Time: 22:09:19 -0500

Comment

Congratulation ! Rayhana for leaving Islam.


Name: Rayhana
Date: Tuesday February 17, 2009
Time: 04:26:48 -0500

Comment

Thank you Dr. Sina for sharing my testimony here and for you guys for all the courage comments. My aim now is showing the false of Islam to my immediate family member in a soft possible way. It is not easy but it will be worth to set them free. Don't worry, dishonor killing is uncommon here. Wish you all the best!


Name: Felix
Date: Tuesday February 17, 2009
Time: 04:29:41 -0500

Comment

Congratulations Rayhana. You don't need to worry about finding a god to worship, they are all make believe anyway. Just be a good person treat people others with love and kindness and everything will be just fine. I hope that your husband comes to his senses as well, it doesn't take a genius to see that religions are all man made. I wish you the best in your life with an open mind,free from fear.


Name: comment to Rayhana
Date: Tuesday February 17, 2009
Time: 07:13:22 -0500

Comment

Dear Rayhana, I thank you so much for your report. You are a very courageous person, and courage does not only reside in acts, it also resides in the human spirit. Maybe there is God, maybe there isn't. None of us have phoned Him :) (i do not mean to be offensive) I once had a spiritual sponsor who told me it was my absolute right as a human being to find the way to God that suited MY spiritual needs, and them alone. That provided much freedom to explore. Today, I live in a universe of divine grace and harmony. It was my choice to leave the punishing, angry Catholic god of my childhood behind! Blessings and may you find peace! C.


Name: Try to be good moslem
Date: Wednesday February 18, 2009
Time: 03:45:59 -0500

Comment

I still do not beleave that to be a humanize we have to leave Islam... Why you all hate us too much... I know some of ours try too hard to protect their beleave and forget the rest which has many good things If you hate terorist ...we also hate them...but is it can be reason to hate Islam...? Fundamentallism are exist in all religion...


Name: Rayhana
Date: Wednesday February 18, 2009
Time: 07:38:58 -0500

Comment

Dear Try to be good moslem, what you feel now was exactly the same as mine before. When I read Western news, I said to myself, how could they think we are terorrists. It is not true, it is only their propaganda because they envy us, muslims. They are so afraid to find out that Islam is the only ultimate religion, originally from God, as well as Quran. Every muslim who never read and learn her/his Quran, Hadeeths and the Prophet Sirah (authobiography) will think Islam is a peace, wonderfully perfect religion. No need to find out the true face of Islam from kafirun's (non muslim) books. They are all simply laid on your Holy scriptures. Study them with your clear mind. List all your questions and find the answers by yourself. Don't ask your mullahs, they are not smarter than you. It is so easy today to find all the informations from the internet.


Name: someone who truly cares
Date: Wednesday February 18, 2009
Time: 07:47:52 -0500

Comment

first up let me state that i am not a muslim. but after reading through the above message from rayhana, one thing is for sure, you realizing the fact about islam will ruin your family life. no please do not do that, i mean i know how egoistic and possissive a muslim man (husbands) can be and i am sure he will not take it kindly to your truning against "his" religion. so i do not knwo what else to adivse you, but try everything possible to save your marriage and the life of your kids, as they too will suffer if there is a strife in the family.


Name: A humble believer of islam
Date: Wednesday February 18, 2009
Time: 10:31:24 -0500

Comment

There is only one god but ALLAH (SWT) and Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) is his last messenger.All i can say is that may allah guide yous all to the straight path and away from shaytan. I am shacked and disgusted that people like yous even exist. This is just a very powerfull sign that the DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS VERY NEAR.


Name: To humble believer of Islam
Date: Wednesday February 18, 2009
Time: 11:19:32 -0500

Comment

How can a man who murdered 900 Jews in one day, plundered rich caravans, raped female captives, engaged in assassinations and kidnap-for-ransom, had sex with a nine-year old child, and other countless inhuman acts, be a prophet of God? Unless the god who inspired Mad Mo was Satan disguised as god/Allah. Truly Satan, the Deceiver, is the Ruler of this world (Islamic countries).


Name: Re : A humble believer of islam
Date: Wednesday February 18, 2009
Time: 17:40:05 -0500

Comment

If I repeat a thousand times that 2+2=5 or that the earth is flat, does that make these things true? It seems that a Muslim's only defence against the indefensible is to endlessly repeat that Muhammad is a true prophet, that infidels will burn in hell, etc. etc. etc. while ignoring the obvious horrible truths about him. If you are as humble as you claim, then you will put aside your prideful denial while courageously taking a good honest look at your "prophet" and you will come to the same conclusion that all other ex-Muslims have come to.


 
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