Islam
Under Scrutiny by Ex-Muslims
Islam - The Best Religion
17 Dec, 2006
Here, Frankly Satire suggests that for you, the Religion of Peace might just be the faith you are looking for.
What other major religion allows a man to have four wives? Only small sects like Mormons do and they are persecuted like criminals for doing so. Maybe some aborigines tribes in Africa, South America or Oceania, but they are too small to consider. Islam has the widest selection of women - about 600 million - just make sure she is not already married. Allah Hu Akbar!
In what other religion is it encouraged to beat wives when they do not obey their twice-as-smart husbands? You do not even have to worry if she is beaten too hard and she is disfigured; it is licit to divorce and marry as many times as desired. You only have to say "I divorce you" three times consecutively. It is even permissible to marry for an hour just for sex. Even when divorced, women do not keep your children with her nor receive anything from their ex-husbands, except grief. Another advantage is that a man can divorce his wife for any or no reason and does not have to tell her. She will know when she is kicked out the house. Women we do this for your protection, because men are smarter and Allah has made us your protector. Allah is so fair and merciful that he allows women to get half of what men get in heritance. After all women are only half of intelligent as men. Allah Hu Akbar!
If young girls are more to your liking it is fine to marry nine year old girls and have all the sex in any position you like, as our Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) did. Who needs sinful pornography when sex slaves are available as right hand possessions? Oh yes, slaves! Though the rest of the world has banned the practice long ago it is still legal with us Muslims. Imagine having your own slaves! Slaves will be cheap and plentiful after Jihad has victory over Kuffar (infidels) nations. Allah Hu Akbar!
The Qur’an has all the science the Kuffar (infidels) have discovered. Revealed to Muhammad (PBUH) centuries before modern scientist in such diverse fields as medicine, embryology, geology, astronomy - all was spelled out in the Qur’an. Sperm comes out of the backbone, a blood clot the first stage of human development, mountains are pegs that hold the earth's crust and the Sun rises from a murky puddle in the far east. Allah Hu Akbar!
As a Muslim, thinking is not necessary; Mohammed (PBUH) was giving the Holy Qur’an. Memorize it, follow it blindly and forget about thinking. All the questions are answered in Qur’an, or Hadith. No need to either look any further or think any deeper. Allah knows thinking is not good, it can give you a headache and make you stray from Islam’s righteous ways. So thinking is not good. Allah Hu Akbar!
Do not want to wait to die and go to Paradise? Allah has an express route. Be a Martyr. Kill as many people possible by killing yourself and Allah will be meeting you with 72 black eyed virgins, to have sex and all the wine you can drink. Allah doesn’t allow us to drink alcohol while we live, but dead, we can drink all we want. Allah loves wild orgies, with mutilated, drunk and violent warriors; that’s what the virgins are for.Allah Hu Akbar!
For a Muslim, health is very important and much better and less expensive than western medicine. To keep healthy seven dates with black seeds will do. Occasionally it might be necessary to take Camel Urine with milk. If a fly falls in the urine-mixed milk just dip the fly in, make sure that both wings get soaked and Hey Presto! Milk is sanitized. Allah Hu Akbar!
Have you noticed Islamic countries have no crazy people? In the Qur’an madness is caused by jinns. The good news is that jinns will come out with beatings. No need for psychologist or psychiatrist - a cricket bat will do. Allah Hu Akbar!
Being always correct is another perk of being Muslim. Debates with Kaffur (infidels) are always won by Muslims because Kaffur (infidels) are all liars. Truth cannot contradict the Qur’an and when it does we have Taqiyya. Taqiyya is a dissimulation strategy that works wonders. It keeps Islam’s many enemies from knowing our real intentions, from knowing our truths. With Taqiyya, Muslims do not need to tell the truth to Kaffur (infidels). As Muslims we will always know the truth regardless of what we tell the Kaffur (infidels). Allah Hu Akbar!
Join the best and only true religion. Join now because in Islam there is no compulsion in religion. Don’t wait because we would cut your heads off. Islam is a Faith of peace, and no peace is more profound than that of the grave. Don’t you agree?
Allah Hu Akbar!